Talking to Your Partner
The money diet
Being married or living with someone certainly comes with its share of challenges. Take money, for example. Handling money can be tricky enough for one person, to say nothing about managing a pool of money expected to meet the needs and wants of two or more people.
Maybe you're a saver with your eye on future goals and security, while your partner likes to live in the moment. Does his idea of the future go about as far as next week's sale on the new plasma screen TV he wants? Does she think security is having checking overdraft protection?
Let's think about money for a minute:
- According to Debtscape, a nonprofit credit counseling organization, the average family carries a balance of $8,000 from month to month.
- According to a 2005 study from the Economic Policy Institute, 29.7 percent of working families in the United States have incomes below basic family budget levels.
- A rule of thumb suggests that housing expenses (mortgages, rent) should account for 25 percent of one's income.
One good way to establish some middle ground where you both can play is to set up a budget. That doesn't mean one person rigidly controls the money while the other adjusts. A good budget is a way to set the ground rules for everyone to follow to meet the goals and objectives of your family unit, however it's configured.
You may find talking about money awkward, embarrassing, irritating, maddening, depressing and more — all at the same time. It's not a conversation that takes place on a whim or while you're in the middle of something else. You need to set up a special time for it and realize it takes time to hash out everything.
When you have this conversation, remain calm and give rational, logical reasons for why you feel the way you do. Be sure to listen to your partner's side of things, too. You may not always know what's best or what the other person is thinking. It's a good idea to write things down and make a chart of needs, wants and resources. You may find that you're both spending money you didn't realize you were spending on things you probably don't really need.
Work to agree on what's important to both of you. If there are things you just can't agree on, set those things aside, but agree that neither of you will take action on those items until you talk about them some more. Create a budget that works for everyone and that everyone can live with. A budget without commitment is no budget at all.
Consider the upside of a good budget:
- It puts you in a better position to pay off debt.
- You'll be in a better position to afford items or services you may want or need in the future, such as emergency expenses for repair work on cars or your home.
- It makes you aware of all your resources and how they are used.
Think about your budget:
- Determine your current spending habits (use bills and receipts as references).
- Set personal and partner goals.
- Track your progress (bills and receipts can act as benchmarks).
- Plan for the unexpected (auto repairs, healthcare).
- Plan for future expenses (holidays, further education).
- Set aside a fixed amount of money for mandatory expenses (groceries, gas, child care).
- Limit spending on variable expenses (clothing, leisure activities).
- Use one of the numerous budget planners found on the Internet as a resource.
- Look for bargains.
- Try to have fun with it.
Setting up a good budget can jump-start you and your family to greater peace of mind and financial success.
Learn more about managing your finances.
This article is provided for general, informational purposes only and is not intended as advice specific to your situation.
